I go on strange, strange power trips

"—but I guess that would be weird and awkward. I'm kind of weird and awkward. I don't really care so much, but I'm trying not to be. I know it makes people uncomfortable and I am trying to be less of a bundle of discomfort. Both for myself and those who are forced to be around me.

It's very difficult sometimes when I get ideas like sending a long elaborate email to a teacher and I am consumed by some form of megalomania as no one can stop me from going through with it."

I would much rather sit across the table from him and talk about silly things that have nothing to do with love or sex or the meaning of life. Okay maybe the latter and the absurdity of it. And then maybe he would say something funny and I would laugh a lot and I would remember that for a long time because it would be a nice memory and I would buy him a beer for it.

I am going to go to sleep now and not dream of Ryan Gosling's beautiful blue eyes.

I did not work this hard for this long to give in now, but god do I want to; want to be defeated, want another tragedy to take a little moment, another train wreck, another storm to sweep over everything.

No, it's fine

the curve of your eyelashes,
looking, you finally see and are seen
No promises I won't break anything

knocks, pounding
questions through doors,
whispers in the dark
No promises I know I can't keep

fingers, earlobes
hands bound together
by lack of promise

Questions followed by half-answers
No promises and,

the warmth of your breath on my neck, ear